Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
