So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
