I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
