i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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