but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
