Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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