Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
