When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
