Screwed.edu
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
