Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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