now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
