i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
