the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Sorry my hands just texted you
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
