this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
