I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
