so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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