Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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