ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
