The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just invented taco cereal.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
