I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
