My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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