Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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