belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
