I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
