I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
