this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
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