why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
