im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
