I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
