I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Welp...herpes.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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