so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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