john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
