Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
