so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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