before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
