yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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