this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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