Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
if only i could text you this smell
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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