just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
