I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
