Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
