It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
