Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
