if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I need to stop coming to work sober
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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