"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
