Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
operation have a gay friend backfired
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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