You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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