My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
