in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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