How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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